Career cheat code: the advocacy flywheel

Hey Warblers,

Think about the person at work you quietly watch and learn from.

Maybe it's the director who walks into a tense meeting and somehow gets everyone aligned in 15 minutes. Maybe it's the engineer who explains complex systems so clearly that even the execs nod along. Maybe it's the PM who always seems to know exactly what leadership cares about before anyone else does.

You study how they operate. You borrow their frameworks. You notice the small things they do that nobody else does.

Here's the thing: they have no idea you're doing this. And that's a missed opportunity for both of you.

McKinsey's 2025 Women in the Workplace report found that employees with sponsors are promoted at nearly 2x the rate of those without. But most people confuse sponsors with mentors. A mentor gives you advice. A sponsor puts their reputation on the line for you. A mentor says "here's how I'd handle that." A sponsor says "I know someone who'd be perfect for this" and drops your name before you even know the opportunity exists.

Most people think sponsorship starts with asking someone powerful to mentor them. It doesn't. The strongest sponsorship relationships start when someone simply says: "I've been watching how you do X, and it changed how I work."

That one sentence does more for your career than any networking event ever will.

Every organization has people who seem to attract opportunity. Projects find them. Leaders know their name. When promotions open up, someone in the room says "what about them?" before they even apply.

Most people assume these people are just talented. Or political. Or lucky.

They're none of those things. They're running a flywheel, and it starts with something nobody expects: genuine admiration.

The flywheel works like this: You admire someone's work. You study what they actually do. You tell them what you learned. The relationship deepens. They start looking out for you. You become the person they recommend when opportunity shows up.

This isn't networking. Networking is transactional. This is something different. It's learning out loud. And the people who do it build the kind of advocacy that no performance review can manufacture.

Step 1: Identify your invisible mentors

You already have them. These are the people you learn from without them knowing it. They've never offered to mentor you. There's no formal relationship. You just pay attention to how they operate and it makes you better.

Most people have 2-3 of these. Maybe one is a peer. Maybe one is two levels above you. Maybe one is in a completely different function.

The tell: when they speak in a meeting, you listen differently. When they ship something, you study it. When they handle a hard situation, you think "I want to be able to do that."

Write down their names. Seriously. Right now.

Step 2: Get specific about what you're learning

"I admire how you lead" is forgettable. Vague compliments bounce off people. They hear them all day.

What actually lands is specific observation. The kind that proves you were really paying attention.

Not this: "You're such a great communicator."

This: "In the product review last Thursday, you reframed the conversation from 'should we build this feature' to 'what problem are we actually solving.' The whole room shifted. I've been using that same reframe in my team meetings and it's changed how my engineers engage with product decisions."

That's a different kind of statement. It says: I watched you closely enough to name the exact move. I respected it enough to try it myself. And I'm telling you it worked.

Nobody forgets being told that.

Step 3: Tell them

This is where most people stop. They admire from a distance. They borrow the frameworks silently. They never say anything because it feels awkward or presumptuous or like they'd be bothering someone important.

So let me make this easy. Three ways to do it, from low-stakes to high:

The Slack message (30 seconds): "Hey, wanted to share something. Your approach to [specific thing] in [specific meeting/project] really stuck with me. I've been applying [specific technique] to my own work and it's made a noticeable difference. Just wanted you to know."

The coffee ask (one message): "I've been learning a lot from watching how you [specific skill]. I'm trying to get better at this myself. Would you be open to a 20-minute coffee sometime? I'd love to hear how you think about [specific thing]."

The public shoutout (team meeting or Slack channel): "Quick shoutout to [name]. Their [specific approach] on [project] was something I borrowed for my team, and it [specific result]. Sharing because more people should know about this."

That last one is the most powerful. You're not just telling them. You're telling everyone. And in doing so, you're demonstrating something leadership notices: the ability to recognize and amplify talent around you. That's a leadership behavior. You're building your own brand while genuinely elevating someone else.

Step 4: Watch what happens next

When you tell someone specifically how they've impacted your work, something shifts. The relationship changes from "colleague I sort of know" to "person who actually sees me."

People remember who made them feel valued. Not in a vague, performative way. In a "you noticed the thing I actually care about" way.

Here's what happens over time:

They start checking in on your work. Not because you asked. Because you're now on their radar in a way you weren't before.

They mention you in rooms you're not in. Not as a favor. Because when someone asks "who's doing interesting work in that area," your name surfaces naturally.

They offer context you wouldn't otherwise have. The kind of strategic insight that comes from being two levels up. Not because they're formally mentoring you. Because the relationship has become real.

This is the flywheel. Admiration. Observation. Telling them. Deeper relationship. Natural advocacy. It compounds. And unlike every other career strategy, it starts with generosity, not self-interest.

When it's your manager or skip-level

Everything above works beautifully with peers and people in other functions. But what if the person you're learning from is your direct manager? Or your skip-level? The dynamic changes. A Slack message saying "I admire how you lead" feels like flattery. A public shoutout to your own boss looks like you're performing.

Here's how to handle it differently:

With your manager: Make it about application, not admiration. In your next 1:1, say something like: "I want to flag something. The way you handled [specific situation] last week, specifically [the exact move], I started applying that same approach with my team and it [specific result]. I wanted you to know because it's changing how I operate." You're not complimenting them. You're reporting a result. That's a fundamentally different conversation. It shows growth, self-awareness, and that you're paying attention to how they lead, not just what they assign.

With your skip-level: Lead with what you're learning from their strategic thinking. Say your VP mentioned in an all-hands that the company is moving toward self-serve onboarding to reduce support costs. In your next skip-level 1:1, you say: "Your point about self-serve onboarding has been on my mind. I started building a diagnostic flow into the onboarding UI that catches the three most common setup errors before users ever hit support. It's not shipped yet, but early testing shows it could deflect about 30% of onboarding tickets." That's not a compliment. That's a signal. You're showing them you understood the strategic direction, translated it into action, and can think at their altitude. Comment on the vision-oriented things you're picking up from them, because this proves you understand the dynamics of the org at a level above your current role. Skip-levels rarely get honest signal on whether their message is actually landing two levels down. When you show them it is, and that you're acting on it, you become someone they remember.

The key with both: never make it about them as a person. Make it about a specific thing they did and what you did with it. That's the difference between flattery and genuine professional respect.

Monday: Write down the names of 2-3 people at work you quietly learn from. Be specific about what you've absorbed from each one.

Tuesday: Send one Slack message to one of them. Use the specific observation format. No ask. Just appreciation.

Wednesday: In your next meeting, publicly credit someone's framework or approach that you've borrowed. "I borrowed [name]'s approach to X and it worked because Y."

Thursday: Send the coffee ask to the person you most want to learn from. Keep it to 3 sentences.

Friday: In your 1:1 with your manager, mention who you've been learning from and what you've applied. This does two things: it shows your manager you're growing, and it puts those people's names in your manager's ear as people connected to your development.

This week's pick: Use AI to sharpen your specific observation. Struggling to articulate what exactly someone does well? Describe the situation to Claude or ChatGPT: "My colleague did X in Y situation and the result was Z. Help me articulate what specific skill or approach they used and why it was effective." It'll give you the precise language that turns a vague compliment into the kind of specific feedback people never forget.

The best career relationships don't start with "can you help me?" They start with "you helped me and I want you to know."

Try it this week. Pick one person. Be specific. Tell them.

You'll be surprised what happens next.

~ Warbler